I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
