maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
