I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
