Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
nutella sex= disaster
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
