i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
