The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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