toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
