Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
