Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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