do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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