I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
