I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
