i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
