i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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