she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
