i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
