2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
