i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
