I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
