STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
