the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
