I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
