i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
