Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
