I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
