The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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