so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
