So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
