I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
