dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
