it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You ruined the universe
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