apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You made out with two different species that night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
