who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
