no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
