it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
