Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
