I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hello my rib-scented angel!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
