i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
