You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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