I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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