508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
