Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
