Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
