Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
