i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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