I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
two words...techno handjob
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
