Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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