He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
