if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
