My underwear smells like fireworks.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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